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Growing Home

Dear Reader,

Welcome to my new website designed to highlight my book Growing Home – A Lifetime Process of Self-Awareness and Transformation.

The intention of my work is to guide you toward the discovery of your true self so that you can become the person you are intended to become.

I just finished reading Liane Moriarty’s book, What Alice Forgot, about a woman who suffers amnesia and cannot remember anything about the past 10 years of her life.  She has no idea she has 3 children and can only remember being madly in love with her husband.  She quickly learns that she is in the middle of a divorce, which she cannot fathom. She has no idea of how life has taken her from being a carefree, loving young woman to an uptight, status driven, superficial woman.  She remembers how she could see only the goodness in her husband but became a wife that could only see what aggravated her.  Sound familiar?

This gradual darkening of the human spirit can happen when we are not living consciously.  We believe that love is our entitlement.  We are brainwashed to believe that we deserve to have everything we want.  We can get lost in a sea of demands and expectations that eclipse our soul’s purpose.  If we are busy getting ahead in life by working too hard, buying too much and trying to prove we are special, we have our focus on a path to misery.  We are told that having the right dress size, the best car, the biggest house and an important job will ensure life’s happiness.  These are false premises appearing to be real.  

Rather we are all born with an inner light that is meant to shine and light our path towards making a difference in the lives of others.  My book describes what happens to diminish the light and send us on wild goose chases in pursuit of happiness.  It also describes how to go about finding the path you are meant to be on.  To find this path may mean going against the grain, which is not for the faint of heart.  To thrive in life we need courage and we need support along with many other important ingredients like the ability to love and be loved.

Yes that is correct – the ability to love and be loved.  Contrary to popular opinion this ability needs to be nurtured, developed, tested and challenged over and over again in order to be strong and durable.   I believe we are born with the template to give and receive love.   During early childhood, depending on the circumstances, we become self-protective, self-gratifying, and self-aggrandizing which are all counter to the act of love.  Loving requires a solid base of self-knowing, self-respect, self-trust and self- compassion.  Receiving love requires the capacity to be vulnerable and to accept acts of kindness and compassion with equanimity and humility.

Growing Home is about healing the wounds that prevent us from loving and being loved.  It is about remembering that inner template, the pure light of the soul, and bringing it back to life.  

My goal in life is to have the capacity for unconditional love.  That starts with learning the way of loving and honouring myself as I am in the here and now. I intend to be my best self at every given moment and I need to develop an acceptance that my best is not always what I am hoping for.  That acceptance in the here and now is key to my continued growth.  If I am rejecting and judging myself, my energy will be used to continually defend myself with guilt and shame.  Guilt and shame are toxic energies.  Self-compassion, on the other hand, will gently guide me towards the healing and generating the capacity to live in joy.

As I work on the process of self-acceptance I find myself more able to accept others without judgment.  In today’s world that is a tall order because we live in a world where hate and fear are the fuels used by Power Seekers such as politicians, corporations and terrorists to get us to feel dissatisfied with our lives so that we are compelled to vote, spend, rage, hide, ignore our fellow humans’ suffering, turn to pornography, substance abuse and control over others.  This cycle of suffering is perpetuated by more fear and hatred.

Love is the antidote to suffering.  We are told by the hierarchical systems that love is Walt Disney/Oprah/Pollyanna soft, weak and meaningless.  Imagine if you were living on a planet where all humans were considered sacred and you arrived on earth.  You discover that earthlings need superiority and power over other earthlings and that the people who are granted power have money and they get to decide who gets taken care of.  If the earthlings are white they are safer and have more chance at getting what they want.  If they are white males they are even safer.  Better still, if they can play a sport professionally or be an actor they get paid millions of dollars but the people who teach the children are given low salaries.  You would also marvel at the earthlings’ understanding of love.   You would see that they are very confused and mistake real love for the infatuation portrayed in Hollywood.  You may even be surprised to learn that earthlings, in spite of religious teachings, and attempts at creating healthy marriages and families, don’t really know what love is.

There is no school system, that I am aware of, that teaches the skills of loving such as open-hearted communication, self sacrifice, self honouring, respect, kindness, listening skills, equality, reverence, and how to encourage and elevate others.  We want it.  We strive towards achieving it but we keep getting disappointed when our attempts fall short.

Growing Home is about returning to the potential of your soul to live in a state of love.